Funny Dog Quotes

“If you want the best seat in the house, you’ll have to move the dog” ~ Anonymous

“Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car, he sticks his head out the window.” ~ Steve Bluestone

“Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.” ~ Anonymous

“If you’re uncomfortable around my dog, I’m happy to lock you in the other room when you come over.” ~ Anonymous

“Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like, never washed a dog.” ~ Franklin P. Jones

“If your dog is fat, YOU need more exercise.” ~ Anonymous

“I am not spoiled I just happen to be great at training people.” ~ Anonymous Dog

“In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely try to train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming partly a dog.” ~ C Edward Hoagland

“You can trust your dog to guard your house but never trust your dog to guard your sandwich.” ~ Anonymous

“Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing, right in your ear.” ~ Dave Barry

“If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge?” ~ Anonymous

“Two fleas are coming out of a bar when one asks the other ‘Do we take a dog or do we walk home?'” ~ Anonymous

“I was thinking of getting a German Shepherd once, but I didn’t want to learn another language just to have a dog.”  ~ Anonymous

“Never stand between a dog and the fire hydrant.” ~ John Peer